Love Sucks! and these fifteen movies prove it! From a beachside love triangle to a bungled bank robbery in the name of love and a prom night from hell, sometimes, single life is safer!
1. COMPANION (2025)
Iris (Sophie Thatcher) met the man of her dreams, Josh (Jack Quaid), in an empty supermarket, their eyes meeting over the baskets of peaches and oranges. Ever since that day, Iris has devoted herself and everything she is to Josh; he is her world, her everything. Companion opens with that meeting as Iris talks us through the event, explaining how her life found meaning and purpose that day. However, Iris then throws us a curveball, as she says she also felt that feeling of purpose the day she killed Josh! Is Iris a psychopath dressed in pink? Or is Josh a smiling devil whose gentle eyes hide a dark secret?
Drew Hancock doesn’t keep you guessing for long as the couple head to a secluded house in the woods to meet Josh’s friends, Kat (Megan Suri), Eli (Harvey Guillén), his boyfriend Patrick (Lukas Gage) and the mysterious Sergey (Rupert Friend). Without giving away any spoilers, Companion is a story of love, lies, logins, liberation and lucidity that proves love sucks in our digital world.
The world that Companion inhabits is one that people like Elon Musk aim to create within the next decade, one where everything is commercialised and controlled by tech bro’s with few moral or ethical boundaries, including our innermost desires for companionship. Of course, many argue that the world is already partly here as we swipe through photos on apps, dismissing any potential suitor who doesn’t fit our idea of perfection. But thankfully, it hasn’t gone as far as it could yet. Drew Hancock’s satirical horror reminds us that if we don’t put the brakes on now, we all know where things are heading!
2. MEET JOE BLACK (1998)
Here’s a tricky one. You meet the man of your dreams (hell, anyone’s dreams!) in a coffee shop (Brad Pitt), where you get talking, even though you are already committed to a far duller fellow. As you depart the coffee shop, you know you will never meet this gorgeous young man again. So when this random hunk appears mysteriously at your father’s side, you are taken aback. However, what is even more strange is that he now carries a mysterious air and the emotional wonder of a child.
What you don’t know is that this beautiful stranger is, in fact, death. That’s right, death! Unfortunately, the man you met in the coffee shop didn’t look twice before crossing the road (a fatal mistake). As the man lay dying from multiple injuries, death saw an opportunity for life by stealing the sexy guy’s body, with a mission to experience love for the first time. Susan is unaware that Death (Brad Pitt) has made a secret deal with her father (Anthony Hopkins), which would bring the gorgeous coffee shop boy back to life if Hopkins took his place.
Most sane people would run a mile at this point, but when death looks this pretty, how can you avoid his allure? For Susan, remaining single and moving to a monastery would have undoubtedly been a safer option.
3. MANNEQUIN (1987)
Do you ever watch an ’80s movie and wonder, “How did this ever reach cinemas?” Mannequin is one of those movies that, despite its age, still has something that keeps people coming back thirty-five years later. Is it the soundtrack? Andrew McCarthy’s boyish charm? Or is it Kim Cattrall’s beauty? In my opinion, what continues to pull people back to Mannequin is the utterly ridiculous yet strangely intriguing premise of its screenplay. Mannequin is so bad, it’s good!
This is the story of a struggling artist (McCarthy) who has more than a passing love for shop mannequins. Each to his own, of course. When a mannequin magically comes to life, this struggling artist finds his creative voice and, in the process, saves Timpkin’s Department Store from closure. However, the mannequin is far more than a magic hunk of plastic; she is an ancient Egyptian goddess with a soft spot for 80s culture, boys in tailored trousers and lavish shop window displays.
Director Michael Gottlieb clearly intended to offer audiences a modern take on the legend of Pygmalion (from Ovid’s Metamorphoses) and the 1948 movie One Touch of Venus. But instead, we ended up with a very 80s romantic comedy that appears to have been written on the back of a cigarette packet. However, Gottlieb also gave us a supporting lead who was black, gay and not dying of AIDS; a bold move in 1987, even if the stereotypes attached are now dated. At its heart, Mannequin is a film about sexuality, desire and a plastic fetish, and that’s a damn rare thing outside of the horror genre.
4. CAGE OF GOLD (1950)
“Be careful who you give your heart to” has never been more apt than in Basil Dearden’s 1950 tale of love, lies, secrets and blackmail, Cage of Gold.
Hailing from the famous Ealing Studios in the final five years of Michael Balcon’s ownership, Dearden’s cautionary love triangle thriller carries all the hallmarks of classic crime noir in a knotty tale of deceit, love and tangled choices. Judith (Jean Simmons) is a woman torn between her doctor boyfriend, Alan (James Donald), and a former boyfriend, Bill (David Farrar), who mistreated her but whose unexpected reappearance triggers unresolved feelings of attraction.
The moment Judith meets Bill again, a long-simmering spark of love and lust rekindles, and we, the audience, shout “run” at the screen, hoping that Judith stays with the gentle, loving, and sincere Alan. But Judith chooses the champagne-loving ex-air force bad boy who lavishes her with gifts and quickly and quietly marries the now pregnant Judith, much to the concern of those around her. It’s clear that Judith is blinded by love, and even when snippets of Bill’s past surface and she questions the source of his money, she remains loyal. But it’s not long before Bill’s true intentions, his secretive lifestyle, and dastardly motives become apparent, and Judith and Alan are pulled into a wicked game of cat and mouse that could have been avoided if Judith had stayed with Alan in the first place.
Also starring Herbert Lom, Madeleine Lebeau, Bernard Lee, and Harcourt Williams, Dearden’s atmospheric mix of the classic love triangle and crime noir has long been relegated to the sidelines of Ealing Studio’s history and Dearden’s catalogue of work. Still, if there’s one movie that proves love can suck based on the choices we make, it’s this one.
5. DOG DAY AFTERNOON (1975)
Based on the real-life bank robbery carried out by John Wojtowicz to pay for his partner’s gender-affirming surgery, Dog Day Afternoon is celebrated for Sidney Lumet’s gritty direction and a bravura performance from Al Pacino. However, the film is also pioneering and complex in its depiction of queer relationships and the fear of difference in a city consumed by crime.
Dog Day Afternoon is far more than another ’70s heist movie. It’s a stinging portrait of the failed American Dream, a city melting under the heat of its failed politics, and a Vietnam veteran (Al Pacino) just trying to find a way to support his transgender partner (in an era long before ‘transgender’ was even a word).
What opens as a darkly engaging farce of the highest order quickly becomes a tragedy as we realise there is no happy ending for Sonny (Pacino) or his hapless partner in crime, Sal (John Cazale). From the moment they enter the bank, their time is up, no matter how they shake the dice.
Love Sucks! and these movies prove it!
6. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (2018)
Sam (Andrew Garfield) is a 30-something slacker living alone in an apartment he cannot afford. Sam’s days are spent looking for no-strings sex, chain-smoking and reading comics as he tries to dodge the landlord at every opportunity. His very existence is one of habit and repetition as he watches the city around him consume everyone it invites into its circus.
One afternoon, as Sam sits spying on the neighbours, he is fascinated by an attractive newcomer in the communal swimming pool, the mysterious Sarah (Riley Keough). But just as Sam gets close to Sarah in a haze of weed, she vanishes, and her apartment is cleared overnight, almost as if she never existed. Offering us a love letter to Hitchcock, Lynch and Kubrick, director David Robert Mitchell takes us down a rabbit hole of desire, uncertainty, and intrigue as Sam desperately seeks understanding and closure.
Love Sucks! and these movies prove it!
7. THE LOVED ONES (2009)
Do you remember those innocent school days, when we made out behind the bike sheds? The Loved Ones is about to pour petrol over those memories before devilishly dancing around the roaring fire. If there’s one film on this list that will have you thanking the heavens for your single life, it’s this one. This gruesome Aussie tale of sexual obsession, psycho parents and forced lobotomies will have you regurgitating your heart-shaped chocolates.
Sean Byrne’s movie is a relatively unknown and deliciously twisted horror gem where the high school prom is unceremoniously turned on its head in a whirlwind of gore, drills and cerebral trauma. The quiet, outcast and edgy Lola Stone is determined to find her perfect prom date and has her eyes set on grungy Brent (Xavier Samuel). However, this is going to be a date like no other, with the whole family invited to a celebration of ropes, nails, drills, and paper hats.
8. DINNER IN AMERICA (2020)
Kyle Gallner plays a reckless punk, and Emily Skeggs a socially awkward misfit – an unlikely pair of young lovers in the perfect rom-com for the 21st century. Dinner in America is rude, crude, totally off the rails, yet incredibly heartwarming.
Simon (Gallner) is a rebellious punk rocker who doesn’t fit in small-town Midwest America. At the same time, Patty (Skeggs) is a super-fan of a local punk band, for which Simon provides lead vocals. However, Simon’s identity is kept hidden. Initially, Patty has no idea who he is, and he doesn’t know that it’s Patty who has been sending him dirty pictures and strongly worded love letters.
Adam Rehmeier joyously dissects modern America, the nuclear family, the bland monotony of suburbia, and the all-American dream in a richly dark, delightfully delicious, offbeat punk rock comedy/drama. Held aloft by the exquisite performances of Gallner and Skeggs, Dinner in America proves that love often sucks, but it can equally be one hell of a ride when coupled with freedom, risk and a sense of forbidden adventure.
9. LIFE AFTER BETH & BURYING THE EX (2014)
In 2014, two zombie rom-com films arrived simultaneously: Joe Dante’s Burying the Ex, starring Anton Yelchin and Ashley Greene, and Jeff Baena’s directorial debut, Life After Beth, starring Dane DeHaan and Aubrey Plaza. Both coincidentally centred on similar themes as two young men dealt with the unexpected return of their ex after they shuffled off this mortal coil.
For Max (Anton Yelchin), his dead ex Evelyn (Ashley Greene) has every intention of being with him forever, even if that means he also has to die! While for Zach Orfman (Dane DeHaan), his slightly wacky life is about to become even more bizarre as his dead ex Beth (Aubrey Plaza) returns with no memory of her death, a slowly rotting body, super strength and a taste for all things human!
It’s all somewhat confusing for Max and Zach as their dead girlfriends make themselves at home; in fact, you would think they would run a mile, find a secluded cabin in the woods and never talk to a woman ever again, but no! Both boys have already found someone else, with their dead exes a rather inconvenient cock-block to future happiness. Both movies have moments of brilliance, but Life After Beth has some of the most memorable, including a hilarious hilltop farewell in which Aubrey Plaza’s Beth is strapped to an oven as smooth Jazz plays in the background.
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10. THE BEACH (2000)
Do you remember the adventure, opportunity, desire and wanderlust that followed you like a shadow during your late teens and twenties? This wanderlust sits at the heart of Danny Boyle’s adaptation of Alex Garland’s novel in a sexy yet dark story of decaying innocence and escape. As we follow our intrepid young backpacker Richard (Leonardo DiCaprio), his journey morphs from adventure to deception and loss as sex and desire clash with a fairytale notion of escape.
Throughout Richard’s journey, the phrase “two’s company, three’s a crowd” resonates as a complicated friendship born of adventure leads to the destruction of individuals within a Garden of Eden that is, in fact, a sun-soaked prison.
Love Sucks! and these movies prove it!
11. TITANIC (1998)
Poor Leonardo doesn’t seem to have much luck in the love department. In The Beach, DiCaprio plays Richard, the third spoke in a complicated love triangle, and in Titanic, he plays Jack, a young whipper-snapper who meets the rich girl of his dreams on a doomed ship. In both cases, Leo’s characters really should have stayed at home! However, hindsight is a wonderful and profoundly unhelpful thing!
The ship in question is the fated RMS Titanic, and Jack is an aspiring artist working his way back to the United States of America after a stint painting prostitutes in Paris. As Jack walks the ship’s deck, he meets the depressed Rose (Kate Winslet), and his life instantly takes a decidedly deadly turn. The pair meet through Rose attempting suicide, which is not the best introduction, as I am sure you will agree. Jack saves her life and sees an opportunity to make mini-Jacks along the way. However, once again, I digress, as before, we have a sweet little romance that includes some sketching, spitting, and dancing before a heated shag on the cargo deck.
By the time the dreaded iceberg comes into view, the two are inseparable despite the snobbery and hate surrounding Jack’s presence. Therefore, it is all the more depressing that as the ship goes down, Jack is left to freeze in the water as Rose hogs a door plenty big enough for his slight frame.
Love Sucks! and these movies prove it!
12. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH (1990)
Lawrence Kasdan’s deliciously dark comedy about marriage, murder and mascarpone is loosely based on the 1983 trial of Frances Toto, a woman who repeatedly tried to kill her husband with little success. For his fictionalised comedy of errors, Kasdan brings together a truly sublime cast, including Kevin Kline, Tracey Ullman, Joan Plowright, River Phoenix, William Hurt, and Keanu Reeves, to create a sharp, entertaining comedy.
Exploring themes of revenge, love, coercion and forgiveness, I Love You to Death proves marriage can indeed be murder. So, pour a glass of wine and order a takeout pizza, but whatever you do, don’t invite the pizza delivery guy to join you on the sofa.
Read More: River Phoenix, the boy, the man and the movies
13. HARPOON (2019)
Are you dreaming of a luxurious vacation following the oppressive boredom of the global pandemic? If so, how about a leisurely trip out to sea on a yacht owned by your best friend? It all sounds so idyllic. But add to the holiday a brutal brawl just a few hours before departure, over a girl, and a toxic friendship based on jealousy, secrets, and lies, and maybe the planned excursion wasn’t the best idea. Thus begins Canadian writer/director Rob Grant’s delicious tale of friendship, betrayal, and bloody revenge, starring Munro Chambers, Chris Gray, and Emily Tyra.
Harpoon is packed to the gunwales with survival movie clichés, richly dark comedy and wince-inducing bodily trauma as the ocean gobbles up our dysfunctional trio. Harpoon takes its inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket” and weaves it with the true story of the “Mignonette” from 1884, resulting in a darkly delicious joy that culminates in a beautifully twisted finale.
14. SUPERMAN II (1980)
Everything was going well for the Man of Steel until he went soft for one Lois Lane. After turning the Earth back to save her from a gigantic earthquake caused by Lex Luther’s stray missiles, before once again saving her from a bomb at the Eiffel Tower and from drowning at Niagara Falls, Superman is happy to give up his powers for a shag in his ice fortress under some lovely fur throws. Hey presto, the Man of Steel gives up his powers for Lois, with Clark Kent now entirely in charge of the romantic endeavours, which clearly involve marriage and many mini-Kents.
However, Clark didn’t expect three deadly villains from his home planet to turn up and trash the party! So he ditches Lois and searches for a way to get his powers back before the baddies destroy everything in sight, including, god forbid, the Marlboro cigarette delivery vans and Coca-Cola hoardings all over Metropolis!
15. THE SOUVENIR (2019)
Winner of the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival in 2019, The Souvenir was Joanna Hogg’s most personal work to date. Using film to explore the intensity and naivety of first love, Hogg’s delicate yet striking drama is a palette of emotions, from manipulation to unconditional love and acceptance, as she dissects the light and dark of relationships and the abundance and drawbacks of a privileged life.
The Souvenir is a melancholic film, a slowly unfolding character study of a woman learning the harsh truths about a relationship. Julie’s frailty maddens and frustrates you so much that you are shouting at the screen! While Tom Burke’s deception, control, and fragile state of mind weave a new world through addiction and lies – a world that demonstrates how much blind love can suck! However, it also feels detached from the majority of its audience, with wealth, privilege, and opportunities that are a world away from most people’s experiences.
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