Fellow Travelers isn’t just a landmark in gay drama, like Angels in America before it; it is a rallying call for something better, as it asks us who and what we want to be and how we combat a society that, all too often, still dictates the opportunities available. It is, quite simply, one of the best TV dramas of the past decade. Fellow Travelers (Live Episode Blog). This blog has now closed; watch Fellow Travelers now on Paramount+.
Fellow Travelers is based on the novel by Thomas Mallon. Matt Bomer plays charismatic Hawkins Fuller, who maintains a financially rewarding, behind-the-scenes political career. Hawkins avoids emotional entanglements – until he meets Tim Laughlin, played by Jonathan Bailey, a young man brimming with idealism and religious faith. They begin a romance just as Joseph McCarthy and Roy Cohn declare war on “subversives and sexual deviants,” initiating one of the darkest periods in 20th-century American history. Over four decades, we follow our five main characters – Hawk, Tim, Marcus, Lucy, and Frankie – as they cross paths through the Vietnam War protests of the 1960s, the drug-fueled disco hedonism of the 1970s, and the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, while facing obstacles both in the world and within themselves.
Episode One: You’re Wonderful
Fellow Travelers opens in 1986 as Hawkins Fuller (Matt Bomer) celebrates his new role as Deputy Counsel to Milan with his wife, Lucy (Allison Williams), and kids by his side. At the party on their sprawling estate, Hawk finds himself approached by an old Washington colleague and friend, Marcus (Jelani Alladin), who asks to speak with him privately. Marcus is there to tell Hawkins that his ex-lover, Tim (Jonathan Bailey), is facing the final months of his battle with AIDS. Tim doesn’t want to see Hawkins, but he has left him a gift, a small paperweight carrying an image of the Lincoln Memorial.
As Hawkins looks at the paperweight, we are whisked back to 1952 and his first meeting with Tim at an election night party celebrating Eisenhower’s victory over Democrat Adlai E. Stevenson. For all our British readers, it is essential to understand the current landscape of American politics, as the political system not only shapes Hawkins and Tim’s meeting but also everything that follows.
The early 1950s saw America engulfed in ‘Red Scare’ politics following the Allied victory in the Second World War and the rise of the Cold War. Politicians actively promoted fear of the Communist threat to the American way of life while sowing the seeds of the witch hunt that was to come. Teachers, union leaders, artists, filmmakers and journalists were accused of having Communist beliefs if they dared to challenge the ultra-right-wing fervour of politicians such as Senator Joe McCarthy, played by Chris Bauer, a Republican who would launch a series of probes into the alleged Communist plot to overthrow the US government, backed by the Machiavellian prosecutor and manipulator Roy Cohn, played by Will Brill.
For LGBTQ+ people, this backdrop saw them further isolated as deviants, perverts and potential Communist conspirators. Anyone seeking a career in public service or the military was subject to personal interrogation and the threat of blackmail if their sexuality was to become known, as Eisenhower moved to ban homosexuals from serving in many government, public and military positions.
Hawkins is a well-respected war veteran who knows the political landscape he operates within as he meets Tim at the bar and is intrigued by his choice of a glass of milk rather than alcohol. To Hawkins, this shy, sweet boy feels out of place in the dark and destructive world of politics, secrets and lies within which he manoeuvres. Initially, Hawkins clearly spots an opportunity to corrupt this milk-drinking Catholic boy, keen to gain work in the muddy world of 1950s American politics.
Bomer’s Hawkins is a political player who understands the rules of the game and uses sex as a political pawn. Early on, we see Hawkins cruising the local men’s room, picking up a young lad before aggressively fucking him and leaving with the boy’s name and job entered into the little black book that resides in his head. Meanwhile, he knows he needs a heterosexual cover, promising himself to a Senator’s daughter, Lucy (Allison Williams), knowing she is a mere career convenience.
Tim is different to the others Hawkins casually uses; he appears innocent but is also sharp, intelligent, and driven. Here, the chemistry between Bomer and Bailey is white hot as they play with each other and the motivations they hold. Hawkins gets Tim a job in the office of Senator Joseph McCarthy, ultimately turning Tim into a willing spy for his work with the Democrats opposing McCarthy’s agenda. But while Bailey’s Tim appears innocent, he also knows Hawkins holds the keys to the political doors he wants to walk through. Initially, their steamy sexual encounters play with the master and apprentice vibes on display in their day-to-day encounters, but as Tim grows in confidence, the apprentice soon learns how to manipulate the master.
As episode one of Fellow Travelers draws to a close, McCarthy reads his executive order to root out sexual deviants in government positions just as Hawkins and Tim’s fiery sexual power play morphs into something more tender. We are then taken back to 1986, where Hawkins has flown to San Francisco to see Tim. But will Tim agree to meet him?
Every frame of Fellow Traveler’s opening episode is stunning in its cinematic scope and detail, while the performances of Bomer and Bailey are electric. Equally assured is the exploration of the intersections between racial oppression and homophobia, and I hope we see more of this as we move forward. Nyswaner and episode director Daniel Minahan perfectly capture the fire, passion and intimacy of private sex in a world where public affection means personal destruction while also exploring themes of faith, self-loathing and hidden trauma. Here, sex is a brief escape that holds urgency, risk and heat in abundance. But this is only the start of Hawkins and Tim’s sweeping story, and we have a further seven hour-long episodes to come as we journey from 1952 to 1986, against a backdrop of social change, liberation, and destruction as AIDS takes hold.
Fellow Travelers – Live Episode Blog
Episode Two: Bulletproof
Listen, kids who die—
Maybe, now, there will be no monument for you
Except in our hearts
Maybe your bodies’ll be lost in a swamp
Or a prison grave, or the potter’s field,
Or the rivers where you’re drowned like Leibknecht
But the day will come—
You are sure yourselves that it is coming—
When the marching feet of the masses
Will raise for you a living monument of love,
And joy, and laughter,
And black hands and white hands clasped as one,
And a song that reaches the sky—
The song of the life triumphant
Through the kids who die.
Langston Hughes
As episode one drew to a close, Hawkins sat in a small San Francisco café in 1986, waiting for Tim to call him back. As the phone rang, we were left wondering whether Tim would invite Hawkins over. As episode two opens, we have our answer: the phone call was from Tim’s sister and carer (Edie Inksetter), and she has no intention of letting Hawk near her brother, as she states, “Tim was never able to have a real partner, you stole that from him.” This one sentence aligns with the themes introduced in episode one, where Hawkins was difficult to read: a man of secrets, lies, and love who sat in the political shadows and often exploited people for his own gain. Yet, there is far more to Hawkins than was revealed in the first episode, and this second episode begins to paint a more complete portrait as we are whisked back to 1953.
McCarthy’s final scenes in episode one saw him read his executive order to root out sexual deviants in government positions, as Hawkins and Tim’s fiery sexual encounters began to morph into something more tender. As episode two opens, it’s clear that Hawkins and Tim are now far more than fuck buddies; they are secret partners who live in the shadows and leave each other’s apartments before sunrise in fear of being seen. Of course, that doesn’t stop Hawkins from using their relationship to gain information on Cohn, McCarthy and Schine’s anti-communist plans or their new mission to rid the country of homosexuals. But Tim now feels like a willing participant in this information exchange. Or maybe he would just do anything to keep Hawkins at his side? After all, Hawkins is bulletproof, right?
As Cohn, McCarthy, and Schine root out alleged homosexuals from government positions, nowhere is safe, and every conversation or encounter carries risk. Meanwhile, the acclaimed poet Langston Hughes testifies before the Subcommittee of Investigations, suspected of holding communist views and beliefs, with Marcus caught between his need to cover the hearings as a journalist and his passion for Hughes as a writer and civil rights campaigner. Marcus can’t stay silent on Hughes’ treatment and overtly criticises Cohn, leading to him being barred from further hearings. Here, Fellow Travelers beautifully begins to explore the racism at the heart of the US Government and the precarious position many black people found themselves in as the federal government openly controlled their ability to speak about the racial injustice at the heart of politics. And let’s not forget that all this was taking place as Cohn acted as prosecutor in the trial of Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, who were accused of being Soviet spies before being executed by the state.
Hawkins has arranged for Tim to be seen on “dates” with his lesbian secretary, Mary (Erin Neufer), for cover. Tim is initially unaware that Mary is a lesbian, but on visiting her home, he discovers she lives with her partner Caroline (Gabbi Kosmidis) in secret. This revelation opens a door in Tim’s mind; after all, if Mary and Caroline can maintain a relationship away from public view, then surely something similar is possible for two men. However, Mary quickly informs Tim that Hawkins knows nothing about Caroline, and she wishes it to stay that way, once again making Tim doubt that relationship freedom will ever be possible in a country determined to hunt down and destroy anyone who doesn’t conform to its heterosexual image.
At the same time, Hawkins agrees to meet his mother, Estelle (Rosemary Dunsmore), who tells him that his father is dying and it’s time he returns home to make peace. This is our first insight into Hawkins’ past, as he reluctantly arrives at his family’s sprawling estate and walks into a room full of extended family he hasn’t seen in years. It is clear that Hawkins’ relationship with his father is complex, and as he steps into the room where his father lies on oxygen, the reason is confirmed as his father states, “You were good at a lot, son, but you were never good at concealing yourself.“
Hawkins’ father caught him performing oral sex on his high school tennis teammate, Kenny, when Hawkins was a teenager and had never let him forget. Kenny was Hawkins’ first boyfriend, sexual encounter and his first experience of loss, as Kenny died in World War II. In a powerful scene, his father asks for an apology while questioning whether Hawkins is still homosexual, only to be met with Hawkins’ defiance. It’s a beautifully scripted and performed scene that shows Hawkins’ pride despite the veil of secrecy around him. This one scene gives us insight into Hawkins’ persona as we discover the reason he keeps his life compartmentalised: the protection of everyone he loves, including Tim. Over the years, Hawkins has realised that the only way to remain bulletproof was to carefully manage his external and internal world, shielding parts of himself from others while never allowing anyone to penetrate his emotional core. Many older gay men will relate to Hawkins’ choices, and Bomer beautifully encapsulates the inner turmoil of the multiple lives Hawkins has created to stay safe.
But as Hawkins returns to Washington, events take a deadly turn as Mary’s partner, Caroline, receives notice that she is being investigated for being a lesbian due to rebuffing a male colleague’s advances. Suddenly, everyone is at risk, including Tim, leading Hawkins to take things into his own hands as he dictates a letter from Tim that saves Mary but condemns her partner, Caroline. Tim knows Hawkins is correct, but it makes him question whether he can live this life of secrets and lies, leading him to turn back to his catholic faith for absolution as Hawkins decides it’s time to fully embrace Mary as his own cover.
Meanwhile, Marcus seeks to bring down Cohn and Schine by acquiring evidence that Schine dodged his draft in the Korean War before sharing the evidence with Bobby Kennedy. At the same time, while Marcus waits to see whether Kennedy will act on his tip, a new relationship blossoms between him and Cozy Corner drag artist Frankie Hines (Noah J. Ricketts).
As episode two comes to a close, we are brought back to San Francisco, 1986, where Hawkins has snuck into Tim’s apartment building, knocking at the door, before hearing Tim’s unmistakable voice say, “Doors open!” thinking it’s his sister. As Hawkins steps in, it’s clear that nobody is bulletproof.
Fellow Travelers – Live Episode Blog
Episode Three: “Hit Me”
“All through dinner, I was wondering, why is he here? Do you know?”
It’s 1986, and Hawk and Tim stand looking at a corkboard in Tim’s apartment. In the top left-hand corner, a black and white photo of Tim opens a window to their past, a road trip they took together that ended on a beach. But Tim is still unsure why Hawk has chosen to visit him after years of no communication, and as Tim asks why Hawkins is here, Hawk responds, “My sister thinks I wanna ease my conscience.” Hawk stares at the lesions on Tim’s hand, and Tim openly tells him that it’s Kaposi sarcoma before stating, “My friends and I debate who has the best chance to survive: the ones with KS or the ones with PCP (pneumocystis pneumonia).”
Suddenly, the gravity of the situation hits Hawk like a speeding bus: Tim is going to die, and so much remains unsaid. Bomer and Bailey’s on-screen chemistry in these delicate opening scenes is stunning as both men attempt to determine the motives behind their sudden reunion before we are taken back to 50s Washington, where Hawk is now dating Lucy and hasn’t seen Tim for weeks.
As McCarthy, Cohn and Schine’s mission to eradicate communists, queers, and immigrants continues at pace, Hawk has received a tip-off that could bring down McCarthy. An ex-Army corporal, Daniel, allegedly had an encounter with Senator Joseph McCarthy years before, one that shows the Senator to be nothing more than a liar covering his tracks through the misery of others, much like Cohn and Schine.
Hawk checks out the source with Marcus, who confirms its accuracy and learns that the Army veteran resides on the coast. After weeks of no contact, Hawk invites Tim to join him on a weekend road trip. It’s another example of how Hawk manipulates Tim, using him to suit his needs. In my rundown of episode two, I asked whether Tim was willing to participate in Hawkins’ games or would merely do anything to keep him at his side. It’s now clear that Tim is in love with Hawk, even though the word ‘love’ seems alien to the man at his side. Tim agrees to the road trip on the proviso that they can finally spend some time together, away from the secrets and lies of Washington.
As they arrive at a small beachside bar, Hawk tells Tim (or Skippy) that this area is known for its “cheap booze and rough trade,” and that “It’s the risk that makes it exciting”, referring to the casual sex on offer. But for Tim, Hawk is the centre of his attention, not the countless men who view him as a potential “quick fuck.”
Meanwhile, back in Washington, Marcus’s relationship with drag queen Frankie continues, with Marcus feeling nervous and apprehensive about any commitment. Marcus is attempting to navigate his feelings for Frankie and is unapologetic about Frankie not being his “usual type”. Here, there is a series of fascinating conversations around the intersection between race, masculinity and gay love as Frankie invites Marcus to a drag show in an all-white club in town. Marcus has his reservations but agrees to attend to support Frankie. But as Marcus arrives at the venue, he is denied entry due to his colour, leading to a confrontation outside the club.
However, when Frankie comes outside to help diffuse the situation and support Marcus, Marcus quickly disowns him, fearing the public perception. For Marcus, it’s clear that his race sits at the heart of his world experience of discrimination and oppression, as his sexuality is hidden from public view. But for Frankie, sexuality and race are equal in his sense of self and his understanding of the discrimination surrounding him. One wonders what the future holds for Frankie and Marcus as the evening’s events erect a wall between them, pitting secrets against acceptance and love against fear.
Back in Rehoboth Beach, Hawk leaves Tim alone in the bar as he scouts out the ex-Army boy who could bring McCarthy down. But what he finds is a young man high on drugs, low on confidence and fearful of the world around him. As Hawk attempts to sober him up, Tim leaves the bar in search of him. Upon finding Hawk, he learns the real reason for the trip. Once more, let down by Hawks’ refusal to tell him the truth, Tim says, “I want to be with you, sleep in the same bed with you all night, not get kicked out at midnight so the neighbours won’t see me leaving. I want to eat a meal with you, like other couples.” Hawk is taken aback by this clear indication that Tim sees them as a couple. – something Hawk has worked hard to suppress. But Hawk agrees to them having dinner together if Skippy pretends to be his nephew.
As they sit down to dinner, Bomer and Bailey sparkle as they bounce off one another with a series of suggestive one-liners. But, it’s more than clear that Tim isn’t prepared to hide anymore as the meal ends with him storming off before the night culminates in Tim giving Hawk what he came for: “rough trade” in a steamy, brave and bold sex scene as Fellow Travelers explores themes of powerplay, BDSM and Hawkins’ need to own the men he fucks.
The next day, Hawk returns to the ex-Army boy who holds the key to McCarthy’s fall and learns that Daniel was McCarthy’s “rough trade” years before. Daniel has proof of their steamy encounter, and Hawk knows just how explosive that evidence is, but he also learns that McCarthy destroyed Daniel in the process. Is he doing the same to Tim?
As Hawk and Tim sit on the beach waiting to leave, Hawk says, “We lie about who we sleep with; I know it hurts you… But the lying gets easier.” Tim considers Hawks’ words and responds, “It isn’t who we sleep with; it’s who we love.” This is the first time the word love is mentioned, and Hawk doesn’t brush it to one side as we might expect.
Back in Tim’s apartment in 1986, Hawk hears a thud and scream as Tim falls, getting out of the shower, badly cutting his leg. Rushing to his aid, Hawk helps him up before vigorously washing Tim’s blood from his hands, as Tim suggests it’s time Hawk had an AIDS test. Shocked, Hawk says, “It’s fine; I have no open cuts on my hands.” But Tim looks at him and says, “I’m not talking about my blood; I’m talking about your life.” As episode three draws to a close, Hawk waits with Tim in a San Francisco clinic, learning that Tim used to work there before his diagnosis, and as Hawk is called in for his test, the secret gay life he has kept locked away for so long suddenly spills out as the nurse asks him about his partners. Maybe Hawk isn’t willing to hide anymore, or perhaps the walls he has erected between his two lives are so high he doesn’t know how to break them down. Time will tell.
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Episode Four: Your Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire
“I’ve done my window shopping
There’s not a store I’ve missed
But what’s the use of stopping
When there’s no one on your list
You’ll know the way I’m feeling
When you love, and you lose
I guess I’ve got the Christmas blues.”
‘Tis the season to be jolly, or is it? As episode four opens, a dazed civil servant leaves a nondescript interview room as white as a sheet. As he stumbles through the corridors out of the government building and past the Salvation Army band, it looks like he might be suffering from a heart attack. Moments later, he is dead, lying on the cold, hard road, blood pouring from his head, having walked in front of a truck. He was just one of the many men interrogated as part of McCarthy, Cohn and Schine’s witchhunt of gay, bisexual, lesbian and queer government employees; a witchhunt led by those who, themselves, enjoyed the company of same-sex lovers and hounded others to cover their own tracks on the slippery road to power.
Up to now, Hawk has kept his private life private, controlling everything around him with ruthless precision. But as he arrives in his office, a small blue envelope sits in his drawer. Hawk immediately knows what it is, but who could have accused him of being gay? Maybe it’s due to his road trip with Tim, or maybe Cohn, Schine and McCarthy are onto his mission to derail their witch hunt. Or maybe he just slipped up, if that’s even possible? One thing is for sure: his life and career are now hanging in the balance, as is the safety of Tim.
Tim is unaware of Hawk’s pending interview (or interrogation), as they exchange Christmas gifts in the safety of Hawk’s apartment. It’s evident in these scenes that their road trip only deepened and intensified their love; Tim and Hawk are now a couple in all but name, and Hawk’s walls are crumbling before our eyes as he gives Tim a pair of gold H and F inscribed cufflinks. But at the same time, Hawk knows he needs to be seen with Lucy as much as possible to protect Tim and himself as the vultures circle overhead.
A series of fascinating historical discussions unfolds as the love triangle emerges, reflecting the impossible choices many LGBTQ+ people faced at the time. Hawk loves Tim, even though he can’t bring himself to say it, and he cares for Lucy even though he knows he is using her. Lucy and Tim are victims of the triangle Hawk created, and one or both will ultimately lose, but at least Tim knows he is part of the deception. Like many women of the time, Lucy is unaware of the lie, offering her love without question to a man who will never fully let her in. Hawk knows the damage this could do, but is willing to play the game. Lucy, however, has no choice, like so many women whose experiences are disregarded when talking about the hidden sexuality and desire of men. Back in 1986, there are glimmers of Lucy’s anger and pain as she phones Tim, asking where her husband is; there are also signs that she acknowledges the pain she and Tim have endured through his lies. I hope Fellow Travelers builds on these discussions and ensures the female voice emerges.
As Hawk attends his first interview, he is asked to walk up and down the office with his interrogator, clearly convinced that all gay men have an effeminate stride; then, he is asked to read a passage of literature while being questioned about his private life. Hawk breezes through the questioning before discovering that he must return for a polygraph test the following day. It’s the first time we have seen a glimmer of fear in Hawk’s eyes as he considers how to avoid the polygraph test uncovering his lies. But as Hawk has always done, he spends the evening reading up on how a Polygraph test works while practising controlling his heart rate.
Earlier, I asked who could have accused Hawk of being homosexual, and the truth comes out at a festive soirée as one of his office assistants, Miss Addison (Keara Graves), admits with a glint of revenge in her eye that she accused him after finding a book Tim left on his desk with the inscription “you’re wonderful” inside the cover. Hawk quickly shows how ruthless he can be as he whispers in her ear, “You’re right, Miss Addison, I am wonderful. So why don’t you just suffer? Merry Christmas.” Hawk is clearly planning to make Miss Addison pay for her betrayal.
The next day, at the Polygraph test, Hawk’s plan to control his heart rate by focusing on a single image rather than memories is successful. But one thing is clear: Tim’s face is reflected back at him when asked whether he has ever loved another man, offering another sign that Hawk is, without question, in love, whether he wishes to admit it or not. As he celebrates his success with Marcus, Marcus asks, “You’re celebrating because you don’t love Tim or because you’re such a damn good liar?” Hawk swigs his whisky in response.
But what of McCarthy, Cohn and Schine, I hear you ask. They may be at the height of their powers, but the house of cards they have created is beginning to topple as Cohn demands special privileges for his lover, David Schine, who has been drafted into the army. Cohn’s demands have placed McCarthy’s office in a tricky situation that could lead to the entire office being investigated in front of cameras, and McCarthy’s patience is running out. But Hawk may have an answer to Cohn and Schine’s fears of facing the sack and losing their power: the testimony of the soldier who slept with McCarthy. Using Tim to deliver the evidence to Schine, Hawk sacrifices his interest in bringing down Cohn in favour of bringing down McCarthy.
Meanwhile, back in 1986, we learn that Marcus and Frankie are still together (hurrah!) and that, alongside Tim, they created a safe space for many young LGBTQ kids and activists. As Tim, Marcus, Frankie and the teens they protect come together to watch 60 Minutes, a familiar face graces the screen: Roy Cohn. As he is grilled, Cohn denies he is dying from AIDS while continuing to bat away questions regarding his sexuality. But when Tim asks Hawk to make contact with the chief of staff for the California Governor in his fight to introduce an AIDS anti-discrimination bill, Hawk immediately dodges the request, leaving Tim’s apartment following their disagreement before returning later that night, worse for wear, only to discover Tim has had a significant seizure and is in the hospital.
Fellow Travelers – Live Episode Blog
Episode Five: Promise You Won’t Write
“I need to get over you.”
The house of cards surrounding McCarthy, Cohn and Schine is about to collapse as we join Fellow Travelers for its fifth episode. But the collapse won’t just rock the foundations of McCarthyism; its ripples will threaten everything and everyone in its path in the most dramatic, emotional and shocking episode we have seen so far. In this episode, the trajectory of each person’s life suddenly and sharply changes in a whirlwind of intrigue, lies and manipulation. Here, the damage and horror of McCarthyism are laid bare as we say goodbye to the 1950s, and our characters’ paths divert, each carrying deep scars that may or may not heal with time. To say this is a brilliant slice of drama is an understatement; it may be one of the best hours of TV drama I have seen this year.
As McCarthy and Cohn’s power begins to ebb away in Washington and their lies slowly catch up with them, the city police have launched a significant crackdown on subversives, targeting the Cosy Corner, where Marcus is tenderly holding Frankie, as the police march in, beating everyone in their path with batons. As Marcus flees with Frankie, it’s again clear that Marcus values his reputation more than his relationship, as Frankie stops to help people while he runs to safety: an event that will finally see Marcus make the decision we have been waiting for, a decision to stand up for what’s right no matter the ramifications.
Meanwhile, Hawk is searching for Senator Smith’s son, Leonard (Mike Taylor), who hasn’t been seen for the past two nights, only to find that he has been arrested after being caught giving another man oral sex. Hawk knows his action could lead to the downfall of Senator Smith and immediately starts planning a way out without ever considering the potential emotional damage he is about to inflict on Leonard, a man he has already stripped of everything as he took his place at Senator Smith’s side as an adopted son.
Leonard’s story, a character we have only briefly seen up to this point, lends episode five its dramatic clout. As Hawk attempts to ensure his police record is disposed of, Cohn has already gotten wind of the story and seizes the opportunity to blackmail the Democrat Senator into resigning. Here, we see just how unscrupulous Hawk can be as he admits Leonard, with his father’s approval, into a clinic specialising in conversion therapy. As he sits talking to the psychiatrist who runs the establishment, Hawk hears how aversion and electric shock therapy have been “proven” to cure sexual deviants. The fact that Hawk is willing to subject Leonard to this treatment, as he places an iron wall around his own sexuality, is disturbing at best. But the fact that he does it with a smile is downright horrific.
Before he takes the broken Leonard into the building, Leonard reminisces about the first summer he met Hawk at the family house and their mutual act of masturbation on a camping trip. Coldly, Hawk responds, “All boys do that, but normal men grow out of it.” It’s clear Leonard has always known Hawk’s sexuality as he snaps, “I thought of telling my Dad what you were.” Hawks’ answer is again as cold as ice, “About what, some sad, twisted fantasy you created in your perverted brain?” But for all his skills in manipulating and controlling those around him, Hawk cannot stop Cohn’s blackmail of Senator Smith, and Smith, brilliantly played by Linus Roache, knows that time has run out. I will not discuss the dramatic events that unfold in this week’s blog for the benefit of those who may still need to watch the episode. But I will reflect on the earth-shattering ramifications of these events next week.
But this week’s episode isn’t just about the events spiralling out of control around Hawk, Senator Smith, Cohn, and Leonard; it’s about Tim’s final and heartbreaking acceptance of the twisted lies and manipulation of the political system around him. Ultimately, Tim’s fight for justice and truth in a den of deceit is instrumental in bringing down Cohn and McCarthy. But it is also the moment that Tim walks away from Washington as he enlists in the Armed Forces, as Hawk drops the bombshell that he intends to marry Lucy.
As the episode draws to a close, Hawk and Tim sit together, looking over the Washington skyline; we know their paths are heading in different directions as Tim states, “I need to get over you,” and Hawk gently agrees. Hawk understands that his life will destroy Tim if he stays, and Tim finally sees the reality of Hawk’s world for what it is: a twisted game of political chess. Their love is clear as they silently hold each other, but for now, it’s a love that will only lead to personal and social destruction for both of them. Meanwhile, back in 1986, Tim sits on a hospital bed following several severe seizures as Hawk walks in and silently sits at his side, gently holding his hand.
Episode Six: Beyond Measure
“We all lie sometimes, mostly to ourselves.”
When your life is built on a lie, everyone around you becomes caught in the endless ripples that lie creates. In episode six of Fellow Travelers, the ripples of Hawk’s lies take centre stage as the action moves to 1968. Hawk is now married to Lucy and has two children, Jackson (played by Etienne Kellici) and Kimberly (played by Teagan Rayne Sellers). He hasn’t seen Tim for years but has silently kept track of his every move without Tim’s knowledge. Hawks’ life appears ideal, with a big house, a loving wife, and two healthy kids, but under the surface, the ripples of his endless lies and the double life he has created directly affect everyone and everything. While Hawk has spent his life meticulously controlling every aspect of his public and private persona, Lucy has kept her own secrets from view. However, for one family member, the constant lies surrounding the family are apparent; young Jackson knows his family is built on secrets, and as he nears adolescence, his uncertainty and anger are beginning to boil over.
These family tensions are only heightened when Hawk steps in to help Tim after a long period of separation. Tim, now a man of the cloth, as he battles with his sexual desires, has been arrested following an anti-Vietnam protest where he and his activist colleagues burned the draft cards of hundreds of men. Tim, unlike Hawk, isn’t willing to play the political game and has turned to direct action; however, in doing so, he now faces the prospect of prison. Seeking to support him, Hawk arranges for Tim to spend time in the hunting lodge on his estate while he puts in place legal support. But much water has passed under the bridge since the two men last met, and Tim is now celibate, something Hawk refuses to accept as he secretly allows Tim to settle into the lodge, his family unaware of their guest.
Of course, it is not long before Tim’s presence is discovered by Jackson, who also uses the lodge as a bolt-hole away from the lies and tension of the family home. Here, episode six excels as Tim slowly develops a relationship of trust with Jackson, played brilliantly by the young Etienne Kellici. Tim sees the pain in Jackson’s eyes and understands the damage Hawk’s lies have wreaked on the family home. He listens to Jackson without prejudice and encourages him to talk to his father, a man he has never felt connected to. Once again, Tim’s honesty, integrity, and compassion shine through, contrasting with Hawk’s secrecy, manipulation, and coldness. He still loves Hawk, but knows he cannot let himself be consumed by him again. Even when Hawk comes onto him, Tim’s actions reveal a sense of self-loathing and fear. Much of this is born from Tim’s rejection of his inner desires, something Hawk neither accepts nor understands.
As Lucy discovers that Tim is hiding out in the lodge, we find out that Lucy not only knows about Tim’s past relationship with Hawk but also actively tried to control it many years before. It’s also clear that Lucy’s mother knows about Hawk’s extramarital affairs with men, as she says, “Take comfort in the fact that you’re the one he loves and comes home to. The rest is just about the meeting of needs.” Lucy may act coy, but she knows the game Hawk is playing and has decided to play her own game to keep the family unit together. The one unanswered question in all of this is the anger Lucy must keep locked away about Hawk’s role in her family before their marriage. Her father committed suicide due to Cohn’s blackmail regarding his son’s sexuality, and Hawk admitted her brother to a clinic to cure his sexual orientation through conversion therapy. If Hawk was gay all along, as Lucy now suspects, the anger of his actions and the ripples they have had on her family life must boil away inside of her. Fellow Travelers would do a disservice to Lucy, her brother Leonard and Senator Smith by not exploring this pain and grief further.
Meanwhile, Marcus is caring for his ailing father and hasn’t seen Frankie in years, when he suddenly turns up at his front door out of the blue. True to his word, Marcus now writes articles and papers on the civil rights movement, but still hasn’t been able to accept his sexuality fully. Frankie tells Marcus he is giving up his life on the road as a performer and is moving to San Francisco to become a social worker. We soon learn they attempted to live together briefly, as Frankie asks Marcus to collect some of his possessions from his apartment. Marcus and Frankie’s story remains slightly under-cooked, and I fear that this will unlikely be rectified with only a few episodes left. There was a treasure trove of potential in their story, exploring the synergies between the emerging civil rights movement and the gay liberation movement, including the cultural landscape of music and art and its impact on both movements. Maybe these themes will still find a voice, but if they don’t, Fellow Travelers has failed to explore the gay black experience fully.
As episode six draws to a close, Hawk attempts to talk to his son following Tim’s advice, but in doing so, he is also forced to accept the damage his lies and secrecy have caused to family life. Standing on the lakeside pier with Jackson, he says, “Do you know that I love you?” “I do. I love you beyond measure.” Jackson responds. “Dad, I think there’s something wrong with me.” Hawk responds, “We’re all going to be fine, son. We’re all going to be fine.” Whether Hawk believes this statement is debatable, as his own house of cards begins to topple. Meanwhile, Tim rejects Hawk’s legal support and faces the possibility of a lengthy prison sentence as he leaves the lodge, not looking back. His parting words to Jackson reflect his own battle: “We all lie sometimes, mostly to ourselves.”
Fellow Travelers – Live Episode Blog
Episode Seven: White Nights
“Rights are won only by those who make their voices heard.” – Harvey Milk.
On November 27, 1978, Supervisor Dan White, a Vietnam veteran and former police officer, walked into San Francisco City Hall with a loaded gun. There, he shot City Mayor George Moscone before stepping into the corridor outside, where he shot community leader and Supervisor Harvey Milk five times before turning himself in. Milk had been an outspoken and visionary campaigner for gay rights in San Francisco, having initially run for office in 1973. But it wasn’t until 1977 that Milk finally won a seat on the San Francisco City-County Board, where he was inaugurated on January 9, 1978.
Milk became the first openly gay city official in San Francisco and, in turn, challenged the electoral landscape of the United States. For many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, his election was a seismic shift in equality, representation and liberation. It felt like the dawn of a new era as the newly labelled “gay” community found a confident voice. But less than a year after his inauguration, Milk was dead, and that newfound community confidence was rattled, and it wouldn’t be long before simmering anger turned to protests and riots.
Ten years have passed since Hawk stood on a lakeside pier and told his son, Jackson, “We’re all going to be fine, son. We’re all going to be fine.” Even then, Hawk’s words seemed hollow, given the lifetime of lies that were bubbling to the surface of his family life, and ten years on, it’s clear that things have only become more complicated. Jackson told his dad that day, “I think there’s something wrong with me”, and now Jackson lies in a coffin, his life ended by a Heroin overdose just as it should have been beginning. Hawk’s solution was to run, leaving Lucy and his pregnant daughter, Kimberly (Brittany Raymond), alone as he opted to swim in an ocean of booze, sex and drugs on Fire Island.
Meanwhile, back in San Francisco, Tim has become a clinical social worker on Castro Street and has finally embraced his sexuality, coming out to his parents and friends while working to improve the gay community he now calls home. Tim works alongside Frankie, who once again lives with Marcus, who currently lectures at a public college.
The assassination of Harvey Milk plays heavy on everyone’s minds as Marcus continues to battle with his views on the intersection between race and sexuality in American society. While Marcus happily lives with Frankie, he still won’t “come out” and hides his views and opinions on homophobia from his students, something Frankie continues to find problematic. In my exploration of last week’s episode, I stated that Marcus and Frankie’s story remains slightly under-cooked, and I feared that this would unlikely be rectified with only a few episodes left. I need not have worried because, as we enter the 70s, Fellow Travelers beautifully and powerfully explores the synergies between the civil rights movement and gay liberation as it finally gives Frankie and Marcus the screentime they so richly deserve.
Milk’s assassination is the turning point for Marcus, as he embraces his role as an advocate and leader in the black gay community alongside Frankie. As thousands of people take to the streets of San Francisco in the White Night Riots, angry at Dan White’s voluntary manslaughter conviction for Milk’s assassination, Marcus finally realises that discrimination and oppression cannot be compartmentalised and police brutality knows no boundaries. It is the moment Marcus becomes a proud black gay man and community activist, and it’s utterly beautiful.
Tim has travelled to Fire Island in search of Hawk as community tensions build in San Francisco. Before leaving, he phoned Lucy to express his concern over Hawk’s mental stability, with Lucy’s cold response only further exposing the irreparable damage Hawk’s lies wreaked on family life. Understandably, Lucy no longer appears to care about her husband; her only concern is the welfare of her pregnant daughter and unborn grandchild. But for her daughter, questions remain: who is Tim? And why did her father run?
As Tim arrives, Hawk is consuming poppers as his new boyfriend and drug mule, Craig (Morgan Lever), attempts to give him head, but Hawk can’t get it up, and it’s clear his life is caught in a spiral of addiction following Jackson’s death. Tim is greeted by group sex, endless lines of coke and heavy alcohol consumption. For all its liberation and sexual freedom, Fire Island has become Hawk’s prison cell as he shuts himself away from family, work and friends. Tim knows he has to find a way to get Hawk to open up about Jackson’s death, and he is willing to play Hawk’s games to achieve just that.
Following a night of drugs, sex and dance, Hawk lures Tim into a threesome with Craig, but what starts as a hot and heavy encounter soon turns into an act of painful healing as Hawk spots a photo of Jackson lying on the bedside table. In a fit of rage, Hawk starts to throttle Craig, who quickly escapes the room before his emotions pour out as Tim holds him tight. “My little boy… he’s dead”, Hawk says, as tears run down his face and a guttural cry fills the room. The heartbreak of these scenes is palpable as the strong, manipulative, and politically savvy man we met in the 50s crumples in the arms of a lover to whom he has never been able to commit in their destructive dance of unrequited love.
As Tim leaves to catch his ferry, he finds Hawk doing coke and finally confronts Hawk with the truth. “If you want to die, go on, fucking die; your wife and your daughter have already buried a son and a brother, and they’re going to have to bury you. But you don’t care because you’re so fucking selfish. I’ve wasted all this time. I’ve lied for you. I’m done with you; I’m free.”
Of course, we know this is not their final meeting; that meeting is still unravelling in 1986, as doctors inform Hawk that Tim has had another major seizure. As Hawk sits beside him on his hospital bed, he kisses Tim’s forehead. The man before him saved his life in 1978, yet he has no power to do the same in return. It’s a scene that asks us why a good man is stripped of everything, while someone who has manipulated others and hidden behind a veil of lies remains healthy and strong by his side. There is no answer to this question; AIDS stripped us of so many men like Tim, their light burning bright in an often dark and unjust world. I can only take comfort in the words of Harvey Milk, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”
Episode Eight: Make It Easy
“He wasn’t my friend. He was the man I loved.”
Some of us only ever love one person in our lives. If we are lucky, that person feels the same way, but if we are unlucky, they remain out of reach, and our love remains hidden for a lifetime. Others find love with multiple people, never allowing their hearts to be entirely given to one person. For many gay men, past and present, whether they found one or one of many, their ability to love freely was subject to society’s attitudes. Many heterosexual people have never, and will never, understand the trauma, heartbreak and turmoil this created and still creates. We like to think we have moved on as gay men and that the traumas of the past are no longer applicable; after all, we can now get married, adopt, foster and celebrate our love on social media. Yet we still let go of our partner’s hand on some streets, avoid public shows of affection in some areas, and understand that violence or hate is never far away. Society has changed, but not as much as we would like to believe.
Many have said Fellow Travelers is a lush, atmospheric and essential reflection of past gay experiences – a show that younger generations can learn from in understanding the rights and freedoms they now enjoy. This is, of course, true. But Fellow Travelers also highlights the intergenerational trauma all gay men, even the youngest, still carry to this day. Our love, even now, still feels delicate; we still go through the ritual of “coming out,” and we still don’t feel our safety is guaranteed. We are still subject to political conversations about our right to love, marry or adopt, and we still have to fight for inclusion at every turn. Like Hawk and Tim, our ability to love is still not without obstacles, walls, and locked gates.
With the unenviable challenge of trying to tie up a story that weaved through four decades, episode eight takes us back to the 1950s while focusing on the final weeks of Tim’s battle with AIDS. It’s an emotional rollercoaster, just as we had expected it to be. The episode opens with Lucy informing Hawk that she has flown to San Francisco and needs to talk. It is clear that their marriage is over, even though Hawk continues to believe he can “make things right.” But Hawk’s only interest now is caring for Tim in his final weeks and months, while also securing a meeting with the California governor in the hope of pushing through an AIDS care bill. Hawk has always been a master of political manipulation. But his gameplay is now blunt as he realises time is quickly running out, and he threatens to blackmail an old political colleague to get what he wants for Tim.
We are then taken back to Tim and Hawk’s initial separation in episode five and finally given insight into what happened when Tim left for the army, and Hawk settled down with Lucy. Initially, it had appeared that Tim and Hawk didn’t see each other for years following this separation, but now we know they remained in contact and continued to meet in Washington. After Tim completed his military service, Hawk pulled strings to secure him a potential role back at the heart of government, a position that would have allowed their meetings and love to continue growing. But Hawk is also now married to Lucy and has a new baby on the way, and it’s here that we discover his ultimate betrayal of Tim. As Hawk worries that his decision to allow Tim’s return may impact his theatrical married life and straight-man persona, he opts to report Tim to the M-Unit, Senator McCarthy’s former office dedicated to rooting out gays. As Tim has yet to start in the role, he is immediately rejected and barred from government service for the rest of his life.
Was this decision an act of self-preservation? Or was Hawk trying to protect Tim in his own twisted way from returning to the bear pit of government? You can unpack Hawk’s devastating decision in many ways. Would Tim have become the activist he now is without Hawk’s intervention? Would Hawk’s marriage to Lucy have ended sooner if Tim had remained in Washington? Was it that realisation that led to his decision? These debates are left for you, the viewer, to discuss. But one thing is clear as we journey back to 1986: as Tim’s life force ebbs away, Hawk is determined to put things right and get him a meeting with Governor Deukmejian at the 1986 fundraising gala, which he does, only to discover that Tim had his own plans for the Gala all along. Our final scenes with Tim and Hawk at the Gala are heartbreaking as Tim says goodbye. “I have to fight this fight, and that means letting go of everything else. If you’re around, I will not be able to let go,” Tim says as he looks deep into Hawk’s eyes. Hawk knows this is goodbye and that he will return to an empty home with Lucy now gone. It’s the moment that Hawk finally accepts what he could have had but wouldn’t let himself entertain due to his political career and internal repression. It’s an ending and a beginning.
The series closes with Hawk walking along the miles of the AIDS memorial quilt in Washington; he passes Roy Cohn’s square, which reads “bully, coward, and victim”, before reaching Tim’s, which simply states “Beyond Measure.” As his daughter Kimberly joins him, Hawk finally says what he has repressed for decades: “He wasn’t my friend. He was the man I loved.” At this point, Hawk finally accepts himself, his love, the opportunities he sacrificed and the damage he inflicted in one of the most delicate, simple and emotional endings to a series I have seen.
Fellow Travelers isn’t just about our shared community history; it’s a reminder that equality, freedom and hope aren’t offered on a plate; we have to fight for and maintain these freedoms by coming together as a community. We must learn from the past in shaping the future as we uncover a community history that has often been airbrushed away while also understanding the impact of intergenerational trauma that still haunts us all. Fellow Travelers isn’t just a landmark in gay drama, like Angels in America before it; it is a rallying call for something better, as it asks us who and what we want to be and how we combat a society that, all too often, still dictates the opportunities available. It is, quite simply, one of the best TV dramas of the past decade.
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