At the heart of this stunning slice of queer TV drama is the outstanding central performance of Ellis Howard, who is spellbinding, cheeky and electric yet also vulnerable under the cloak of confidence they proudly wear. What It Feels Like for a Girl premiered at SXSW London and is now streaming on BBC iPlayer in the United Kingdom.
Raw, brutally honest and groundbreaking are just a few words I could use to describe What It Feels Like for a Girl, the new BBC adaptation of Paris Lee’s 2021 memoir. It is a brave, bold, riveting and urgent drama that is undoubtedly one of the best queer series since the stunning Lost Boys and Fairies in 2024, which was robbed of any BAFTA Awards this year.
Some have suggested this new drama is a mere propaganda piece from the BBC that seeks to normalise the trans experience; for example, Suzanne Moore, writing in The Telegraph, said, “The Supreme Court ruling that biological sex is real should have been a wake-up call, but the art world still believes in fairy tales.” This attitude robs individuals of sharing their lived experiences and suggests that a Supreme Court ruling on sex sits above any lived experience an individual carries. It’s the same argument trotted out in the 1980s and 1990s, where we were told, “Your experiences are invalid” and “You threaten family values” by a state and right-wing media that denied us our ability to thrive and be accepted through laws such as Section 28, but now the focus is on gender identity.
What It Feels Like for a Girl isn’t anti-women or an attempt to steal the experiences of young women growing up and attribute them to someone born male; it’s an exploration of shared experiences that traverse the simple labels of male and female, one that young women, young men and those yet to decide their gender identity can relate to in multiple ways. Here, the coming-of-age experiences of Byron (Ellis Howard) transcend the labels we are now so keen to administer and argue about; they are experiences every single young person will find some connection with, even if, hopefully, the darkest moments of Byron’s journey are not reflected in their own.
Growing up in Hucknall, Nottinghamshire, Byron is perpetually bullied at school due to their femininity, and their home life isn’t much better. Their dad (Michael Socha) views Byron’s effeminate mannerisms as a curse, actively using words like “bender” to try to “make a man of him”, while their mum, who left Byron as a child, is more interested in her new life than theirs. Only their grandmother offers sanctuary and safety. There is a universality in these experiences that resonates with all young people who grew up knowing they didn’t fit in at school, in their community, or in their family.
These feelings lead many young people to seek escape in any way possible, and often, drinking, drugs, sex, risk, and uncertainty follow. Despite the darkness experienced by Byron during this need to escape and find themself in Nottingham’s bars, clubs, alleyways, toilets and desolate industrial estates, Byron rejects the label of victim and the very idea that their teenage self is vulnerable, hiding behind acerbic wit, and a smile that woos “straight” men, looking for “fresh meat” while granting access to doors that otherwise remain shut at their young age.
The labels “transgender” or “gender queer” are initially alien to Byron in ’00s Nottingham, yet the feelings associated with the trans experience are not, and these feelings only grow as their sense of confidence and new friendship circles form.
©BBC/Hera/Enda Bowe
At the heart of this stunning slice of queer TV drama is the outstanding central performance of Ellis Howard (Red Rose), who is spellbinding, cheeky and electric yet also vulnerable under the cloak of confidence they proudly wear. In a recent BBC interview, Paris Lees said, “I’m thrilled that we cast Ellis as Byron. Early in the process, someone from production sent me Ellis’s headshot, and something about him stuck with me. He brought a certain naughtiness to the role, which shines through in the series. Byron is such a complex character, going from being a schoolboy to a trans woman and everything in between; it is a challenging role. Byron is the central character, but Byron is also based on me, so getting the casting right was crucial. For me, Ellis was the perfect choice!” I can only echo Lee’s thoughts; Howard was perfect casting, and awards should follow if there is any justice.
However, What It Feels Like for a Girl is also an ensemble drama, and alongside Howard, we have a truly exceptional cast who reflect the diversity and shared intersections of the queer coming-of-age journey, from Alex Thomas-Smith’s Nicky to Jake Dunn’s volatile, angry, yet inwardly confused Liam.
Reflecting on the supporting cast in a BBC interview, Ellis Howard said, “We have such a brilliant ensemble of cast and crew, and I love them all. When it comes to queer liberation, I never had the space in my life to go on the journey that Byron goes on. Throughout my childhood, I tried to suffocate those things and package them away in a way that would enable me to get through life safely. It’s amazing to have so many queer people in the crew who will watch the scenes and have conversations; it felt like a family had formed on set. I hope this transpires for many other queer youth, giving them a passport to liberation that I didn’t have when I was growing up. I hope that this show can be a vessel for others in the same way it has been for me personally, playing Byron”.
Add to the mix the gritty, fearless direction of Brian Welsh, with support from Ng Choon Ping and Marie Kristiansen, and What It Feels Like for a Girl feels like a Queer as Folk moment in modern TV.
©BBC/Hera/Enda Bowe
Parts of What It Feels Like for a Girl follow a traditional queer coming-of-age narrative: a queer teen in a small town where being different isn’t accepted, a teen who lacks family support and finds their place through escape and a new “found family” of people who share their experiences. But like other groundbreaking shows from Queer as Folk to Euphoria and The Naked Civil Servant, What It Feels Like for a Girl isn’t afraid to explore the darker corners of the queer journey, corners that many LGBTQIA+ don’t open up about with anyone but their closest friends, and many dramas actively avoid.
When Queer as Folk aired in 1999, social attitudes were beginning to shift for the queer community, and by the time Paris Lees was a teen, many felt ‘things could only get better.’ However, darkness continued to accompany the experiences of many teens growing up in small towns during this time, with young people seeking escape in big cities like London, Manchester, and Birmingham to avoid becoming trapped in damaging, insular communities. Things have changed further since 2000, but not as much as many would like to think; as a result, What It Feels Like for a Girl will speak directly to the experiences of many teens today, whether they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer, or straight.
Ellis Howard said, “The show is a marbled experience. For some, it may provide a passport for thinking about gender and sexuality, or reflect on how they show up both in the world and in friendships. For others, it may be about class or how you forgive your family and find your own family. There is so much familial politics in the show that is so deep and nuanced. I hope audiences watch the series and have a laugh. This is a show that is incredibly funny, acerbic, and witty; it has a cheeky, naughty quality. It’s a look at some of the extreme topics in modern Britain, which we’re still wrestling with as a society and often have a stuffiness towards”.
There really isn’t much more to add to Ellis’s words. What it Feels Like for a Girl is a sublime slice of queer TV that, in a world where political persecution and oppression are firmly back on the menu, has never been more critical.
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